All About the Benjamin

Do you remember when I had my first baby?  And I never stopped talking and blogging about her?

Well, I suppose I still never stop talking about her..or her brother.  But as far as the Internet goes...

Perhaps that's one of the greatest things about having your second child. 

(Though remarkable and completely essential information to probably everybody)

You don't feel as inclined to publicize to the world the substance of their every breathing moment. 

Sometimes, though, I regret getting carried away with that feeling when I look for the story of his first year and realize it’s only inside of me.  Never to be written and remembered in exasperating detail like Zoe’s first year was. Hah.  I used to pour so much time and thought into this blog.  Back when I had time to think, and time to write.  It’s a very different time now.  An Instragram snapshot and caption is my extent of scrapbooking these days.

I have been feeling the pull to put some of my favorite details about him down, though.  So allow me.

My sister and I were always complete opposites, so I don’t know why, as the days unfold and reveal his personality, I fancy it as such a curious thing to discover that Zoe and Benjamin are turning out that way as well.  It’s impossible not to compare your children to one another when their ages are relatively close and it’s fun to see how much two people with similar nature and nurture can deviate so greatly. 

These are a few of my favorite things about my boy: 

1.        He drills his face into the nearest cuddly object.  The moment I drape a blanket across my shoulder, he imediately face plants it.  When I pull him out of his crib after a nap, he goes to touch the tiny stuffed Winnie The Pooh characters on his mobile, brushes them against his cheek, all with a tickled grin and giggle like he’s meeting a celebrity.

2.       His lips.  His beautiful, intense sapphire eyes may be a window to his soul, but those lips are tell tale to how he is feeling.  They are the most expressive/communicative lips.  When I was 20 weeks pregnant with him, though his features were still developing, those lips stood out to me first thing on the ultrasound. 

3.       HE actually EATS! A lot.  Of anything.  When I think about what his favorite foods are, I can’t even deduct because he accepts it all graciously.  As long as you let him feed himself and make a huge mess.  He will clean a plate before Zoe agrees to gag down her third bite.

4.       He thinks Zoe is the funniest person alive.  He follows her, chases her via crawl, watches her in awe, and is always watching her -- anxiously awaiting her next move.  I realized they were true siblings one day when Zoe did something that I found completely irritating while her and Benjamin laughed together forever.  She loves him back just the same.  A little too physically hard sometimes, which is the only time she makes him cry.  Oh and when she takes all his toys.

5.       Boy has an insatiable demand for being carried and held.   At 26 lbs., it sucks for me.  The boy is stout.  He's not what I'd call an easy-going baby.  He demands a lot and really needs that physical closeness.  Maybe because he lacks that one-on-one time that is difficult to give with his sister around.

6.       His hair is so silly.  It’s this down feather naturally occurring Mohawk thing.  I’ve already given him his first haircut (to keep it off his ears).  But it puts me at a loss.  I don’t know what to do with it.  Everywhere we go old ladies offer their commentary on how cute but funny it is.

7.       He got six teeth in one month (His 8^th month, I think?) and none since.

8.       He’s a strict tummy sleeper.  And a light sleeper like his mama. 

9.       I find it hysterical when he throws his fits because I’ve never been around baby boys in my life enough to realize the extreme of their theatrics.  May even rival the girls.  He is king at throwing his body back and kicking across the floor at even the slightest hint of thinking he’s going to get his diaper changed.  And clothing him?  I don’t even know why I bother.  He is usually dirty within 10 minutes and half the time I’m physically unable to hold him down and accomplish the undertaking of dressing his belligerent flailing limbs anyway. 

10.   But he makes the cutest little gruff monster noises in the back of his throat and yells at you when he’s displeased. 

11.   Dada was his first word, around 6 months or so, but Mama is his favorite word.  Baba is also big.

12.   Boy loves to clap.

13.  He also loves music.  Zoe never cared for me to sing to her, and now she tells me to shut up when I try.  Benjamin snaps right out of whatever ill temper he's in when I sing to him and smiles so completely.  It melts my heart. 

14.  We call him Benjamin half the time.  I personally like to call him Benny, which BJ hates. Zoe usually picks up calling him whatever I do. I slip and call him Benji a lot, too-- a name we agreed not to use, but it has grown on me, eh.  He's also Benja, Been-Jamin, Booba, Benny-B, etc.



Zoe (age 2 1/2) & Benjamin (6 days old)

my heart could explode...

9/11 + Utah State Fair

Nana + Zoe at the display of 3,000+ flags honoring the victims of 9/11 (each flag had a tag with a name, age, and story). 

The next day we went to the fair. Zoe was sightly too small to ride, but they let her on in between her cousin Kylee (left) and some random little girl.  BJ got these funny action pics! 

First haircut!

Zoe had her first haircut today!  I've been tired of constantly cleaning it out of her eyes, losing bows, and tying it on top of her head like a turnip.

Before...

 During.

 After! 

She's such a big girl now!
And her Dad was really proud that she chose the black car with flames on it over the sparkly pink one.

Silly girl

I was downstairs sorting laundry this morning, calling Zoe to come follow me (as she typically, eagerly does), but this time she fell to a distraction -- calling back to my request, "I washing!"

After stuffing a load of laundry in, an alarming slippery slick oily sound emitted from her space as she continued exclaiming "I washing! I washing!"


I ran upstairs to find her washing the couch with my grapefruit scented body butter.

Parenting nose-dive for LOLing, seizing my camera, and then insisting she bring this sofa “cleansing” to a halt while I dashed like an E.R. doctor to the poor greasy buttered couch.

I don't think I have it in me to get mad about stuff like this. 
I just love this child so ridiculously.

Snow Day

My sleep was so sound last night. The lights went out around ten, and suddenly the alarm was going off – not my inner-neurotic-mother-checkonbabywhatifshesdying alarm clock, either. When BJ gets up for work, I ordinarily follow so I can shower and do some reading. Today I stayed in bed. In fact I'm still lying here in bed under the sheets listening to the wind thrash around my backyard. Sipping Columbian roast & thinking about the pumpkin bread my sister gave me, just out of reach in the kitchen..so. far. away from my bed, though.




I'm allowing myself unproductivity today for two reasons – 1. It’s become apparent that I’m stressing myself out. I’ve been being a biatch, as a result. What is it about stress that makes us want to blame our stress on everyone else? I need to relearn how to chill, like I did when I was a working mom. I feel so pressured to have everything perfect now that I don’t have the excuse of a job, but I’m discovering that it’s still impossible to live up to the standards I set in my head for myself. 2. I will be cooped up in a house with a toddler all day, and I’d like to be present in that inevitable state of lunacy as short and simply as possible. It is...n't easy being inside.

This weekend was the first real snow storm. We took Zoe out in it Sunday afternoon. She was reluctant, but inquisitive.  Eventually she grew quite taken with it.  She calls the snow "NO!", her toddler rhetoric omitting the S for a mysterious but maybe significant reason?

first snow angel, kinda.

We were hanging out under this tree and she was trying to eat the berries from my arms...hahaha

Our neighbors huge branch from their mammoth trees broke from the weight of the snow.  It may stay there for awhile until we can figure out how to grow hulk muscles and move it...or get something heavy duty enough to chop it up.

Quick update.

It's been awhile. 
I had some time today, and this was on my mind.  Time isn't that free anymore, you would think since I lost my job I'd have time to do this kind of thing, but it's just the opposite.  Zoe and school don't allow me to sit still (unless I'm reading a textbook while she sleeps). 

Things are really, really good.  The holiday season is upon us, and I've been in my element with the Autumn.  It's my favorite season by far.  Christmas shopping for Zoe has been easy, we've already stock piled toys in our basement. 

BJ got a new job, one that pays better and treats him better, all around.  That is a big relief.  He deserves it.  I'm so grateful that he works hard for our family so we can keep living while I'm out of work. 

Being home with Zoe was really rough for me at first.  It was a shock to the system, and I doubted my ability to do it (happily).  After a week or two, I feel so happy to be home with her.  It takes more out of me than my body was used to.  I've stepped it up with eating better and working out every day.  Morning stretching is key for all the bending over and time on my feet I spend all day long.  We have so much fun.  I take her to daycare 1-2 days a week so I can clean and do homework.  You would think I'd revel in this time, but I always feel pretty empty all day alone and miss her something fierce. 

Anyway, about three month have passed since I've updated this thing.  A lot has happened, but I wont try to fit an ocean in a paper cup, so I'll just give you what's going on now. 

Zoe is really obsesssed with pumpkins.  She calls them pokes, and she kisses them all the time and tries to feed them her food or binkie. 
She learned about Santa this weekend, but sometimes calls him "Satan"... hehehe
She continues to be crazy about shoes and boots (and saying those two words)

Anyway, I'm sure there is more but I think she might be waking up. 

Here are some pictures!

 We went to the State Fair where she rode a pony for the first time (AKA floated up to heaven...girly girl.)

We also fed some ducks and walked around Wheeler farm.

 We had friends over one night for a pumpkin carving party.  Please note Holly's HILARIOUS Michael Jackson pumpkin.



Almost 18 months.

I recently altered my work schedule.

Well, to be lucid – I recently gambled hard and volunteered a considerable pay-cut so I could focus on the rest of my life.
You know, the one moving at express velocity without me as I sit at my desk counting money and printing reports.
I have a Human Biology lecture at 5 on Monday's starting next week, 
so I figured it would be good to take the entire day off with child.
It will be nice to get back to the maddening and exhilarating world of academia.
And for Fall to set in.
I feel its suggestion in the air now and then,
and it’s a complete tease, has my mind wandering and ready to take the last of Summer for granted.
When summer has been nothing but good to me.


Yesterday was the beginning of this new schedule where I just don’t work on Monday
it was brilliant.
We slept in bed together until 10AM
I set the coffee on
Made her breakfast
Did laundry
Cleaned in general
Shopped
Cooked
Rested
Played
Cuddled


Against numerous temptations, I refrained from updating Facebook status with my Zoe mania.
The cuteness refuses to cease, ceases to surprise me and makes me laugh my ass off.

What is it about being a mother that forces the terrible need to share these things with people that don’t care?


Maybe I’ll start her a private twitter.

Still playing catch up

Not yesterday, but the Sunday prior, we went up to the Park City Silly Market.  I would like to thank Park City for keeping me sane.  Throughout my poor adult life it has acted as "pretend vacation" when I need one. It's nice to get up there and hang out with all the yuppies now and then and get away from the Wessiiiide.

We went to Wasatch Brewery for lunch. B.J. got a Jalapeno beer & I got this guy. Jalapeno beer? Reluctance befell me at first, but after awhile I really appreciated the most peculiar sensation of setting my mouth into flames and putting it out in one simple sip. It wasn't long before I really wanted his instead of my nitro cream ale.  So I supplemented. :)

After the brewery, we strolled down Main Street to the market...Zoe, in her umbrella stroller, hypnotized by all the booths and people.

Edited cause it looks coo this way.

We were walking along the market on Main Street when Zoe required milk, so I went to the nearby coffee shop that I love – Alpine Internet Café -- anticipating I could purchase some in there. However, my beloved café that is filled with sentimental value in my head had vanished, and in its place something claiming to be called “Atticus”. The shocking betrayal. I acted on my first instinct, which was to hate this place, especially after the several hippies in there that burned their glares into me for giving her chocolate soy milk (it was all they had offered in the drink case!  I pick my battles by now) instead of the boob or something. However, tey had this little children’s area in the back full of the neatest array of pop-out books and brand new toys, it was charming, so I guess I sort of forgive. =\

A lot of my favorite places on Main Street have gone out of business since the economy went to hell. 

It's very heart-breaking. 

Look at this sky!  This was Sunday evening after we came home.

Shake it like we got no bones

Well, what do I say?  I wanted to write in depth about this concert because it deserves that kind of justice. From beginning to end, it was basically magical.  I would not have called myself a fan of Michael Franti, but that has all changed.

He played at Deer Valley Resort in Park City last week.
My friend Mimi invited me to a soundcheck/lunch she won from a radio station.  I blindly followed, not really knowing what to expect. 

I want to hesitate to say "it was my favorite concer EVER!!!!" because in the back of my mind I wonder if there is another concert from the past that I'm overlooking.  It's not unlike me to fall head over heels with live music and obsess over it for the following week. But...maybe I'll be bold and make that statement.  It was (probably) my favorite concert.  Ever.  So far. 

The day began when Mimi and I drove up the canyon on a boiling summer afternoon discussing death and funerals.  We got lost when we got to Deer Valley, but eventually located our venue after I got help from the hotel clerk.  We arrived, met up with her friend Lyndsee, got a free boxed lunch and sat down among about 15 other radio winners to watch the sound check.  The bass was rumbling in my chest, the venue was breath-taking, I hadn't realized it was going to be like this. I knew then that it was ON.  

In the middle of a song, Michael and the band slowly started walking out from the stage onto the grass where we were sitting.

This lady in pink was REALLY excited about all that was happening around her.

I don't know what it is.  Everytime I meet someone "famous" I turn into a gargoyle looking thing for the picture.  When I got up to him, I felt stupid.  I hate meeting "famous" people.  But he kissed my head and pulled me in and spoke softly to me...to everyone that he met.  We met a few members of Spearhead (the band), too, they were so genuine and kind.  I thought they would just be like, "OH HI", but they stopped to shake my hand, look me in the eye, and talk.  Of course none of us talked, just melted and blubbered out compliments then trotted away....ha.

After the soundcheck, we made a beer run and bought skirts at the most convenient store we could find -- Rite Aid. :)  I sorely needed to get out of my work clothes, so I got a long skirt that I wore as a dress.  Not the first time in my life to do that. ;)  And yes I did end up tripping over it and flashing everybody on accident later in the night.  Also not a first time in my life.

Mimi went to dance with "green dress girl", I forgot why we picked her out of the crowd, but we did, and she was brave/drunk enough to dance while I photographed from safety.  LOL.  She danced and ran away and green dress watched her flee with a sad look on her face.

Jimmy Cliff opened...amazing.

I LOVED her beer cozy..!

Waiting in line.  We came prepared.  Well, Lyndsee did.  And was kind enough to share the wealth.

These guys had cool dreads.  I didn't want to touch them because I was afraid their woman would get the wrong idea, but Mimi is fearless.

Lyndsee and her friend Winston

Let the second concert begin!

This type of music will effortlessly cause most live bodies to move, it’s just a natural reaction. Everyone was dancing with everyone, as the night went on strangers turned to friends/dancing buddies. Everyone around us was so kind and so happy. Mid-concert Michael came out to the crowd yet again (hella denser this time) and played a few songs at the back of the amphitheatre so the latecomers could have an intimate concert too. That is when the sky began slightly sprinkling erratically. For the closing song, they played the most popular "Say Hey (I Love You)"... (all of his songs are feelgood soulshine type, but this one is probably the most feelgood soulshine song of EVER) he invited children and old people up on stage with him. At one point in the song a couple jumped up on stage and the dude proposed. She said yes and they stayed on stage dancing so feverishly to the music. It started to rain harder at this point. I stopped bouncing around for a second to watch the newly engaged couple move so passionately and blissfully together, still on the stage, and almost started crying, it was such a sweet moment for them, for us all, to share. The song went on, and the sky emptied itself without restraint all over us. We continued to dance and sing, soaked and slippery. We threw a little fort together with the blanket to protect our electronics, and the moment the concert was over we hastily drew together our soggy belongings and scampered for the safety of the Subaru (mostly because we were worried about my camera). As we were running I suddenly felt a tug and a sudden extra weight at the bottom of the blanket that I was holding, but I didn’t bother to look at what it was since it was dark and there were so many distractions. When I got into the car, I pulled the blanket up to see what the weight dangling at the end of it was and it was my clutch with all my stuff in it – iPhone, debit card, drivers license, etc. Holy crap. I can’t believe it fell out of the camera case I was carrying it in and somehow snagged on the blanket on it’s way to the ground. Had it fallen to the ground and I had lost it, it would have spoiled my experience of this night…but it didn’t! It further reinforced my love and appreciation for it all.






It’s been like 10 days and the high from this concert still hasn’t completely worn off.
And yeah, I carry the laptop around my house blaring Michael Franti. 
I also listen to him all day at work. 
I think I'm obsessed!


Thank you for this memory.