Soul to squeeze...repeatedly squeeze.

We went camping last weekend.



Overall, it was a nice time. A nice memory. Best to stay a memory, as it was not without calamity. Not exactly one of those trips where everything falls into place. Quite the opposite, actually. I just had to cry a laugh after awhile. Cars broke down not once, twice, but three times. Lakes were closed due to overcrowding. Spices were neglected, food was bland. Midday beer migraines were had, an unpleasant confrontation with a law official occurred, and worst of all -- my bikini makes my boobs look small. Woe.


I've never seen so many stars though. One night after everyone retired to their respectful tents late, BJ and I lay on the blanket underneath the stars and just...gazed. The black sky is filled with constellations of freckles. It reminded me of my shoulders, since I have been looking at them a lot lately after my skin cancer scare. But unlike freckly skin, it's majesty gut-punched the breath out of me. Watching the sky from a place where the air is clearer of pollutants is something I will never grow sick of. I still remember learning about outer space in Challenger School. I have yet to feel a fascination so intense since. Well, maybe when I learned about dinosaurs, but I digress. I feel sad that I have to drive two hours away to see the true sky. My Mom said when she was a child she could see a thick blanket of stars from her house in Bountiful. I wonder if Zoe will ever be able to witness a star-abundant sky, or how far she will need to drive to get to it by then. 

Um, best road stop ever!

Smug boat faces.  And BJ's conehead (something got distorted in this photo. I doublechecked his head to make sure.)

My friend, Liz, came!  And she twirled Holly's Asian shade umbrella a lot and looked pretty in the sun doing it.

This is the sky as we were sitting around the camp fire drinking Diet Coke and thinking about dinner.

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 She is 17 months tomorrow, and is a wrecking ball.  I think we cleaned these Q-tips up four times last night before they stayed in the packaging and I was able to setthem out of reach.  She kept saying, "NO, MINE!" (her new favorite words, on top of Zoe ("sowwy")) and grabbing them out before I could react, flinging them around the bathroom over and over again. Guess there is more toddler-proofing to be done.  She has so many  new words, I can't keep up with journaling them. I guess she is just that incredible.  It's impossible to be mad at her when she does these "bratty" things, but it does make me think, "hm.  maybe she will forgive me for not giving her a sibling.  ever. she can make friends, yeah?"

my love for her pardons her of everything that would otherwise make me yank my hair out

But another kid?  I just can't fathom loving another this way.

He he. :)  Itsa Zoebotso.  With a nice set of shark teeth