I saw an old friend/former co-worker recently. She looks vivid, pleased with herself. She called me from the second floor girl’s room in an urgent whisper demanding I meet her there, bearing gifts that only she and I would appreciate, an inside joke of sorts. We squeezed each other in several hugs and squeals and snuck back to my office where I shut the door and we sat for over an hour catching up. It was awkward at first – what we used to have in common now counters, but eventually our personalities fused back to the natural flow that formed our friendship in the first place. She’s moved up in the world, loves the job that brings purpose to her life. She rents a luxury car, lives in a trendy part of downtown and left the unfulfilling relationship of a million years and started dating someone new. She radiates the free bird feelin. A particular itch of envy started clawing at me. I began questioning what my life would be like if I had chosen that path. Living downtown, staying unattached, drinking for dinner, spending money on myself, etc. Ah, things were so complicated then, at the time. I had drama and action. I had admirers. I overanalyzed every conversation and broke it down into prose. I got by on one whim to the next. Sometimes I miss that a lot. Complicated or simple?
Then I got home.
And saw the two most beautiful faces in my life. My heart became engorged with love, it was jumping out of my chest and wrapping itself around my babies when I even contemplated "what's better? this or that?" and my mind flipped instantly…without any conscious decision involved.
I’ve never been so sure that I’m exactly where I need to be (in time to be there.)
Where I want to be.
Where I chose to be.
Where I chose to be.
Where I belong.
Anyway, Zoe has been talking a lot lately.
Here's what she likes to say:
Here's what she likes to say:
Mama (Most often said when she cries, needs me to do something for her, and when B.J. asks her to say "Dada")
Daddy (Pronounced Dah-Deeeeeeeyyy. Said when she's in her happy yappy mood or when she's looking outside. She sees him in the yard a lot lately or grilling on the porch so she makes that connection even if he's not outside.)
Doggie (@ dogs and almost all animals in her books.)
Dip (she likes to dip her food in other food...i.e. pasta in yogurt...regardless if they taste decent, as long as she's dipping she's happy.)
Ducky (She loves her ducky book.)
I will probably keep coming back to update this list, as I can't think of any others at the moment though I know there's more. BJ and I ask her to repeat words and she usually repeats everything (the toddler version) when she's in the zone.
- She walks over to the DVD player and taps on it when she wants to dance, then runs over to the speakers to dance. She loves to dance, but is getting really shy when people are around. We tried to get her to dance on Mother's Day for my sister and parents when they came over for brunch, but she shied away.
- She regularly says "shhhh!" while bringing her index finger to her lips. Which is what the last two pictures above are about, I was trying to get her to do it this morning for the camera, but the pics aren't so telling.
- She goes "rrrrrrrrmmmmmm" when she pushes a toy car around. It sounds like vroom without the 'v'.
- Recently started kissing on the lips (versus blowing kisses, which she's done since she was about six months), but she is a sloppy kisser. Lunges at you with a mouth wide-open bearing her menacing teeth and, at times, sticks her tongue in your mouth, laughing. She thinks she's hilarious. That's okay, so do I.
- Knows where her nose is and thinks she knows where her eyes are. She point to her temple when I say "eyes".
- Lays on her back and tries to change her own diaper.
- Takes barretts out of my hair and tries to put them back in by placing them on top of my hair, then gets upset when they fall immediately. She watches me closely when I snap them back in.
- BJ taught her to blow on a dandelion this weekend. She seems to be a better student to BJ than to me. I tried to teach her a couple days before and she'd just shove the dandelions in her mouth and cry when they met her taste buds.
- She throws the ball to me. When I catch it, she claps. When I throw it back, it bounces off her head and she's suddenly disinterested.
- I recently got her some bath tub crayons, which she loves. She bites the tops off them and scribbles with the rest. I also love them. We all leave messages in the tub for each other to discover when our own bath time comes around. :)
- We booted Comcast cable and have the most basic of basic cable now, which is kind of like not having TV at all. I get pangs sometimes, missing my On Demand. But life feels more serene around here without all the buzzings and chatter invading our lives, and I love that part. The lack of TV is also helping us half the responsibility around the house and Zoe pretty much gets our undivided attention (when she seeks it, which is most of the time).